IN PLAIN ENGLISH: Effects of Parental Infidelity on Adult Children’s Relational Ethics With Their Partners: A Contextual Perspective
WHICH QUESTIONS DID THEY ASK?
How does parental infidelity influence adult children’s relationships with their romantic partners?
WHO DID THEY ASK?
411 participants
Age 18 or older
91% female
73% White
72% Christian
WHERE WAS THE STUDY CONDUCTED?
A mid-sized public university in the southern US, though participants were recruited through professional organizations, personal contacts, and social networking sites, as well as the university
WHEN?
Published in 2016
WHY?
To determine if having a parent who cheated will increase the likelihood that the offspring will cheat in their own romantic relationships.
WHAT WAS LEARNED?
For this sample of mostly heterosexual women, a father’s involvement in infidelity meant that in their own romantic relationships, these women reported feeling:
less trust in their partner
less loyalty to their partner
An increase of destructive entitlement* in their relationship
*What the heck does this mean? Destructive entitlement is saying, “I have been treated badly in the past, so I deserve to treat you badly.” For example, “I cheated on you, because you did not meet my needs. But I should be given a pass because I grew up being with an unfaithful dad.”
The end result of all of these feelings is that the women who had grown up with knowledge of their father’s affair were more likely to cheat on their own romantic partners.
THE TAKEAWAY is the best part, so I may write IN more than ONE SENTENCE:
IF YOU ARE A THERAPIST, TEACHER, OR HELPER: It is crucial to ask your clients, particularly in couples therapy, if either of them grew up with a cheating parent. Specifically, this article points to how parent infidelity may leave long-lasting misconceptions of trust and loyalty in romantic relationships.
IF YOU ARE A PARENT INVOLVED WITH INFIDELITY: This is one of several studies that demonstrates that children who grow up with cheating parents are more likely to cheat themselves. Specifically, this article demonstrates that a woman who grows up with a father who cheats may have an affair because her partner is not meeting her needs for trust, love, and loyalty, so she feels entitled to cheat.
IF YOU ARE AN ADULT WHO GREW UP WITH CHEATING PARENTS: The good news is that, just because you grew up with cheating parents, you are not relegated to continue the pattern. A conscious, active decision to restore any imbalances in your relationship with your partner, particularly in the areas of trust and fairness, will go a long way towards mitigating any desire to cheat as a way to ‘get back at’ your partner for not meeting your needs.
REFERENCE:
Alexandra E. Schmidt, Mary S. Green, D. Scott Sibley & Anne M. Prouty (2016) Effects of Parental Infidelity on Adult Children's Relational Ethics With Their Partners: A Contextual Perspective, Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 15:3, 193-212, DOI: 10.1080/15332691.2014.998848