Melissa Macomber | What to do When a Parent is Cheating?

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IN PLAIN ENGLISH: Family Background and Propensity to Engage in Infidelity

Note: Child refers to an offspring of any age. Many children discover parent infidelity as adults.

WHICH QUESTIONS DID THEY ASK?

  1. How a variety of family-of-origin experiences are related to a child’s likelihood of engaging in infidelity, and their beliefs about infidelity. Specifically, do the following factors predict a greater likelihood of the children engaging in infidelity?

    • parental infidelity

    • parents not being currently married

    • high levels of parental conflict

    • low levels of parental relationship satisfaction

  2. Is parental infidelity the strongest predictor of children’s infidelity behavior of all those listed above?

  3. Do any of these factors predict what a child will believe about infidelity?

WHO DID THEY ASK?

  • 295 people

  • M age 23

  • 54% in a romantic relationship

  • 181 female, 111 male

  • 71% Caucasian


WHERE WAS THE STUDY CONDUCTED?

A University in the Western United States

WHEN?

Published in 2017

WHY?

Understanding the factors that increase the likelihood of infidelity assists in both treatment and prevention.

WHAT WAS LEARNED?

  1. How much parents fight, whether parents are married, separated or divorced, and parental infidelity are all factors in understanding how family-of-origin effects child’s infidelity behavior BUT

  2. Parental infidelity emerged as a better predictor of children’s infidelity behavior compared with the other three 

  3. Children’s perceptions of their parents’ happiness together were also uniquely associated with a child’s own infidelity behavior: ie, kids who cheated were more likely to report that their parents were dissatisfied in the marriage

  4. Children whose parents are still married and did not experience parental infidelity are particularly less likely to engage in infidelity. 

  5. Little evidence that a child’s infidelity beliefs were associated with family-of-origin experiences

  6. Little evidence that infidelity beliefs were associated with a child cheating in their own relationship as infidelity behavior was only marginally related to acceptability. 

THE TAKEAWAY IN ONE SENTENCE…

IF YOU ARE A THERAPIST, TEACHER, OR HELPER: Parent infidelity and how happy the parents are in their relationship are the biggest predictors of a child’s likelihood of cheating in their own romantic relationships.

IF YOU ARE A PARENT INVOLVED WITH INFIDELITY: Parent infidelity and how happy the parents are in their relationship are the biggest predictors of a child’s likelihood of cheating in their own romantic relationships.

IF YOU ARE AN ADULT WHO GREW UP WITH CHEATING PARENTS: Parent infidelity and how happy the parents are in their relationship are the biggest predictors of a child’s likelihood of cheating in their own romantic relationships.


Reference:

Weiser DA, Weigel DJ, Lalasz CB, Evans WP. Family Background and Propensity to Engage in Infidelity. Journal of Family Issues. 2017;38(15):2083-2101. doi:10.1177/0192513X15581660