Melissa Macomber | What to do When a Parent is Cheating?

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in plain english: A Prototype Analysis of Infidelity

Melissa Macomber

WHICH QUESTIONS DID THEY ASK?

How do people define and understand infidelity?


WHO DID THEY ASK?

  • study 1: 155 undergraduates, ages 17-55, 58% female, 70% Caucasian

  • study 2: 286 undergraduates, ages 17-59, 69% female, 76% Caucasian

  • study 3: 146 undergraduates, ages 17-59, 57% female, 75% Caucasian

  • study 4: 51 undergraduates, ages 18-44, 70% female, 76% Caucasian

**mostly young, unmarried undergraduates

WHERE WAS THE STUDY CONDUCTED?

A mid-sized University in the Western United States

WHEN?

Published in 2014

WHY?

Infidelity is a super complex topic. Understanding how regular people (as opposed to scientists and researchers) define and describe infidelity will help scientists study the most relevant and important facets of infidelity to help people cope with it.

WHAT WAS LEARNED?

  1. Themes of infidelity include: violation, secretiveness, immorality, consequences, emotional outcomes, dishonest, lying, sneaking around, deceive, and secretive 

  2. Language used to describe infidelity was mostly morality based: wrong, betrayal, disrespectful, selfish, bad, and immoral. Most people consider infidelity to be immoral. 

  3. Consequences of infidelity include: breakup, broken trust, unforgivable, and loss of trust 

  4. Outcomes of infidelity include: pain, crying, sad, hurt, guilt, and heartbreak and are central components of the definition. That is, generally people do not separate the negative outcomes from the entire view of infidelity.

  5. Generally, people did not name particular behaviors to define infidelity, with the exception of ‘sex’. 

  6. Men and women conceptualize infidelity differently. Women tend to view infidelity more negatively than men.

THE TAKEAWAY IN ONE SENTENCE: Infidelity remains an intensely complex topic. Duh.


IF YOU ARE A THERAPIST (OR HELPER): Consider that your male and female clients will have different ideas about parent infidelity that may or may not be gender based.

IF YOU ARE A PARENT INVOLVED WITH INFIDELITY: Consider that your children may each have unique experiences of parent infidelity which may be connected to their gender identity

IF YOU ARE AN ADULT WHO GREW UP WITH CHEATING PARENTS: To better understand how your parent’s infidelity may have effected you, consider what defines infidelity for you.

Reference:

DANA A. WEISER, CAMILLE B. LALASZ, DANIEL J. WEIGEL, AND WILLIAM P. EVANS. A prototype analysis of infidelity. Personal Relationships, 21 (2014), 655–675. Printed in the United States of America. Copyright © 2014 IARR; DOI: 10.1111/pere.12056